This is where it begins

From 610 N. Walnut Street, Room 124, Madison, Wisconsin, Transportation Services -University of Wisconsin, not too far from now frozen Lake Mendota, I dream of warmer climates, gilded sand dunes, pristine beaches, luscious lineups and rising swells.

Life is good though, and surely I can't complain. The choice has always been mine -as far as I can recall. And anyway, the past is the past is the past -no need to reminisce.

Bills are getting paid, for behold, I'm a full-time State employee, Classified. 7:30 to 4:30, Monday to Friday. Button-down shirts and slacks to offer customer Service in a professional environment. Work comes, for a minimal payroll deduction, with life insurance, in case I die. There are also health benefits; Group Health Cooperative, the best in town -had them for a couple of years and wished I hadn't, but that's another story, and it's always better than no health care coverage -one could speculate.

Oh, yes, I teach yoga too. 3 to 6 hours a week at Harbor Athletic, in Middleton, Wisconsin -Middleton was voted #1 place to live in. I don't know how they came up with such a result, but I'm pretty excited to be part of this greatness. And by the way, I live one street away from Middleton -how much better could it get?

Of course, with all this work, writing is on hold. I'm still looking, or trying in my own convoluted way to look, for a literary agent, or a publisher, for 'Esperanza' -keep your eyes opened for it in paperback. Three other novels, are waiting to be finished. They're all about romanticized love, loss, self-realization and fulfilment. To my credit, of the handful of blessed souls who happened to read Esperanza, none has given me negative feedback -I hear that some even cried.

I could be honest and say, 'I miss writing -fiction.' I could be honest and say, 'I miss getting completely consumed by an idea, a character, a line, or even, a word.' But not today though. Today, all is fine. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated a few hours earlier, according to Yahoo!. But, otherwise, and once we exclude all those who are suffering; all those who are victimized, trampled by faith, humiliated, stripped out of their most basic human rights; all those whose pained cries are scuffed at, ignored... and the list goes on and on and on. Today, all is fine.

Am I still trying to work past mom-related-issues? Absolutely. But all is fine.

Am I still lost between cultures, no patch of earth to call my own? Surely. But all is fine.

Life is fine, as long as there is love in the heart, as long as there is will, as long as there is a semblant of health.

Life is fine, for love is my companion. Thanks to S. She rocks my world. She is the brightest light in my overcast life. Though she's a Gypsy. Hot-headed and wild. She's a fire like no other.

Then, there are the friends, good people I dearly care about, whom I might not see as often as I wish, if at all. Their presence strengthens my resolve and gives me hope.

For all this, all is fine.